Dads or Fathers?

We all have a dad. Some of us more than one. But fewer of us have a father. Even fewer of us have more than one.

It’s not news that none of us got to choose our dad. It is a painful reality that many of us ‘acquired’ another ‘dad’ along the way. In nearly every case we were told this is ‘your dad’. For better and for worse we gained our dads by virtue of someone else’s decision. I know that this stirs up some difficult memories. Please stay with me for just a moment longer.

For just a moment, let’s talk about fathers. For some of us our dad truly was a father to us. He not only had the dad role, but he actually became a father to us. And for many of us, even though we had a dad, we never had a father. Full disclosure: Some of our experiences were good and some of our experiences with dads and fathers were not so good (terrible even!).

This is not a rant about fathers. In most cases our dads did the best they could. They didn’t know how to be a dad, let alone how to be a father. Bitterness arises when we see men around us who are the great dad and father that we didn’t get to have.

So, would you let me share a little bit about dads vs. fathers, and then give you the opportunity to reply and comment?

Being a dad is relatively easy. Being a father is enormously challenging. So as we look at our own situations, let’s try to give our dads some grace, even the ones who definitely don’t deserve it. God has given us an incredible back up plan for those of us who didn’t have a dad, or didn’t have positive father in our lives.

I am one of the ones blessed with a wonderful dad who was also an incredible father. (He lives with Jesus now). But, my dad had limitations, like all dads do. I am a dad to three wonderful adult children. I hope that I am able to be as wonderful a father to them as they are wonderful children to me. One of the most interesting things that I have discovered as I’ve gotten ‘older’ is that while I had one dad, I actually have had many fathers. My own dad was a great father, but the Lord brought other men into my life who became fathers to me in addition to my dad. I hope that you’ve had the same experience.

God has made a way for us to experience what it is like to have great fathers, even if we didn’t have a dad. He has given the character, the traits, the sensitivities, even the motivation to invest in our lives in ways we’ve longed for but never had the chance to experience (yet). I have had many men in my life who fulfilled that fathering role in my life.

Boyd, was one of them. Boyd wasn’t biological, but he became family. He, for whatever reason, loved me. He made time for me. He believed in me. He trusted me. He challenged and corrected me. He affirmed and appreciated me. He had my best interests at heart. He fathered me. I am forever grateful! I have many others I could tell you about, later. The point is that he became something to me that I needed, and wanted. He became a father to me.

I had five or six fathers in my life, in addition to my own dad. They invested in me and helped me to become more than I thought possible.

Now, it’s my turn. It’s my turn to be what those men were to me, for you. It’s my turn to be a father for those who have been fatherless.

Welcome to Red Sky Rising. A community of young adults destined to be world changers and movement makers transforming the earth with their lives.

My name is Tim. I will be your guide. And to the degree that I can earn your trust, I will be a mentor and father to you. I am willing to help you navigate life and become everything that you are intended to be. My ambition is to pour gasoline on the fire of your dreams and water on your fears.

Let’s begin.

Tell me what you think about dads and fathers